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08.24.2004 :: Blast from my past: OR...hug your kids
My childhood home, the new home of my mother and brother
My mother and my brother and his wife recently bought the home that I grew up in. 22 years ago, the bank foreclosed on the mortgage due some bad business planning and they moved out with their furniture and clothes on their backs. I was at college and did not know any of this until it was done and they had moved. No closure.
Going to visit them recently in that house was a bit strange. The rooms don't look anything the same, especially since the upstairs has been made into a small apartment for my Mother complete with kitchen. That kitchen sits right in my childhood bedroom, without the loud, psychedelic 70's wallpaper. It's weird, isn't it, how things change, but somehow they feel the same. They are just walls and floor, roof and paint. But I remember so much of myself there, even when I didn't know myself that well yet.
As I opened the basement door, it felt as if I stepped into a time portal. Everything was the same here. It was not a finished basement, but a true cellar. My father had made shelves on the back of the stairs to hold can goods. We had enough canned goods to survive the impending nuclear holocaust. Thank goodness we never needed them! Those shelves were still there, sans cans. As I decended the stairs into my past, I saw the paintings we had made there a teens, a little worn and disheveled, but withstanding the test of time, having survived through a couple of other families!
Was I delighted? Does a banana have cheeks?
Yes, a banana with cheeks! We were so clever!
And mushrooms. Are you a 70's child too? Do you remember the mushroom phase of life? We had them on canister sets and curtains and dishes and on basement walls!
As I turned around I spotted what I had forgotten.
Footsteps in orange and black!
Along with some graffitti added from other teens along the years. Orange and black were our school colors. Why footsteps? Who knows now. As an aside, the town we now live in has orange and black as their school colors so these footsteps did withstand the test of time.
More sappiness
I remember with startling clarity the eagerness at which I departed that house to get on with my life. College awaited and I was ready. And now I stand here on the other side of that. The mother having her child preparing to leave. Derek left this morning to attend a 4 day band camp at UMass. I haven't been able to stop crying. This letting go business is for the birds. I had better line up a tranquilizer for September 3rd when he moves in for the semester.
When I left for college my mother never showed any emotion. She stood at the kitchen window fixing the curtains as I left. I thought she was being indifferent. But now I know otherwise. I think she was hiding her tears.
Knitting?
Right. This IS a knitting blog. Well, tomorrow I'll show you the new project at hand. I'll give you a hint. It's Inishmore and it's purple.
Posted by Sandy on 08.24.2004 AT 07:47 AM
Comments
Our school colors were orange and black, too. Loved this post, San. It reminded me to go back to the old house before the closing and take pics of the kids height charts. On each closet door, they took turns recording each other's growth through the years. Hugs to you!
Posted by: Kerstin on 08.25.2004 AT 06:45 PM
*sniffling* I had a wierd nostalgia at 18 when I went back to Australia and visited my old primary school -I had forgottenwehad made a time capsule in grade3 which I had made a terracotta tile for and I found it wierd - I kept saying 'I'm sure it was bigger' *hugs*
Posted by: Karen on 08.25.2004 AT 02:53 PM
Wow, I had forgotten about the Mushroom Decorating Craze. What great memories!
Such a wonderful post, dear girl. Big, warm hugs to you. You've given Derek a great foundation on which he will build a Good Life.
xxoo
Posted by: Kim on 08.24.2004 AT 11:54 PM
What a beautiful post. I can't even imagine what it must be like to send one off to college. I barely survived full day kindergarten. Thanks for sharing your visit to your childhood home. I love those paintings. :)
Posted by: Kathleen on 08.24.2004 AT 10:41 PM
OH my *sobbing* I have three more weeks.
Posted by: Cindy on 08.24.2004 AT 10:16 PM
Loved your post today.... How cool is that the painting are still there. I remember the mushrooms too...also a child of the seventies. Thanks for the smiles today.
Posted by: Maureen on 08.24.2004 AT 09:50 PM
You made me remember the house I grew up in, and, yes I do remember the mushrooms! Wow, this post really takes me back. :)
Posted by: Pam on 08.24.2004 AT 04:17 PM
Thank you for sharing with us your loving memories! Have a fantastic tomorrow!
Posted by: Rossana on 08.24.2004 AT 03:47 PM
I love this post! sniffle!
(((hugs)))
Posted by: Heather on 08.24.2004 AT 02:53 PM
Pass the Kleenex, huh? I've lately been remembering my 2500-mile cross-country trip to deliver my eldest to college exactly a year ago -- and the emotional, tearful trip home. She's leaving Monday for another go of it, but a bit closer to home this year. I'll still miss her.
Revisiting a place from your childhood is so special -- you're so lucky to be able to do it. And, hey, the high school in my town has black & orange colors, too!
Posted by: Vicki on 08.24.2004 AT 12:33 PM
Great post, Sandy. We lived in so many places that nothing really felt like 'home'. It's fun to revisit the memories with you. Not having children it is difficult sometimes to imagine the bond between mothers and their children. I do see the world through my mothers eyes often these days and wish that I could talk to her about how different it is from my childhood view.
((((HUG)))) for you.
Posted by: margene on 08.24.2004 AT 12:21 PM
One of the best things about parenthood is the opportunity to reflect on your own parent's behavior through the eyes of a parent instead of a child. For me, it explains a lot of stuff that I could not grasp at the time.
Here's a cyber-hug from a fellow softie. I am feeling your pain. When you figure out how to "let go" pain-free, will you clue the rest of us in?
:)
Posted by: Annie on 08.24.2004 AT 11:48 AM
What an amazing story about the house. I have mostly lived in new houses, but I love old houses and have always enjoyed the idea that someone else was there before me. When I've lived in old houses, I've always tried to leave odd little things left behind by previous residents as they were, for future occupants to discover. As an adult, I drew on the wall of the kitchen in my childhood home before the wallpaper went up because I knew my parents would sell the house before they wallpapered again. Wouldn't you know it, they sold it to someone I barely knew from junior high!
Thanks for writing such a poignant post and for including the photos so I could share some of your memories!
Posted by: Susan on 08.24.2004 AT 11:48 AM
How neat to be able to go back. Congrats to your Brother, Sis in Law, and Mother!
Posted by: liz on 08.24.2004 AT 11:28 AM
What a neat way to visit who you were and to be able to see, in comparison, how you evolved from that.
The "letting go" thing is a lesson we learn all our lives and it may be the toughest one there is - which is why we keep having to learn it over and over again. But the "moving on" part that follows can be filed with joy and adventure :)
Posted by: Robbyn on 08.24.2004 AT 09:35 AM
Beautiful post Sandy. I moved back to my old home town 2 years ago after being away for nearly 20 years. My dream is to buy back my old house and give it to my father as a present. It nearly killed him to have to sell it, but he was promoted and we had to leave. Best of luck to Derek, and just have a big box of Kleenex ready!
Posted by: Ginny on 08.24.2004 AT 09:02 AM
Well, that was quite a specific hint. I wish my Secret Pal were half as specific. Excuse me, I'm going to get a hanky now. Leave me alone. I'll just be adjusting my curtains or something. It WILL be OK... My little precious gem is RA'ing at Hamilton as we speak. Her "away" message on her IM is "Welcome Freshmen." (they arrive today) and she's wearing a purple shirt designating her as a leadership student. Wow. You see, we had empty-nest syndrome four years earlier than most, and because we practically camped out at the school the whole time, it made it a much more gradual process. Plus, I'm a heartless wench, so I didn't notice much. *sniff*
Posted by: Norma on 08.24.2004 AT 08:28 AM
sob, you've got me remembering my parents dropping me off at college and how my mom was so quiet. Later she told me she cried the whole way home and then some.
I know it sounds strange, but when I had my first baby, one of the things I thought was how am I going to deal when this baby goes off in 18 years to college or wherever life takes him? Time goes by so quickly.
Hug hug Sandy-ster!
Posted by: Leigh on 08.25.2004 AT 11:39 PM