Overall I don't like memes. But then again, there are some that are just too fun for words. So here goes this one, found at Nora's.
I have added my own comments to the end of the sentences. Fill in the blanks.
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1. My uncle once set an elementary school on fire (accidentally) when he left a cigarette on the corner of something. It dropped into a pile of newspapers and started a fire in the boiler room. He was the school's custodian. He was also a member of the town's fire department. He lost both jobs that day.

2. Never in my life will I totally balance my checkbook.

3. When I was five my father bought a house without my mother's knowledge. She cried when she saw what she had to move her family into. That house was literally a heap of junk. Until my father fixed it up.

4. High school was a time of life that seemed so blasted important and now I cannot remember much about it after all. Funny that.

5. I will never forget my way home. (Okay, I had nothing on this one. Or too much, whatever)

6. Once I met my knitting and blogging friends, my life was instantly enriched.

7. There’s this boy I know whose name is Samuel, he is our paperboy. Every day he walks across our porch to check the thermometer that I have sitting out there. He also tries very hard to win Fig over. He's been unsuccessful at that not for the lack of trying. Fig did, however, warm up to him a couple of times because Samuel opened the door to put the paper in, giving Fig the opportunity to walk in the house without waiting for us.

8. Once, at a bar I got the drummer's drumstick. I had that drumstick up until recently. A couple of us used to be groupies of sort of the group the Stompers. (oh, gosh! They are not as good looking as my memory insists!) They were a Boston based band that sang "I love that dirty water, ohhhhh, Boston you're my home". Oddly enough, as much as I loved them I cannot remember one more of their songs. We had such fun going around Massachusetts going to their shows. We went a lot to a place in Boston and to Pufferbellies on the Cape.

9. By noon it is the end of the morning.

10. Last night I ate 4 slices of pizza. Oh boy. I did . I was hungry.

11. If only I had the ability to cure cancer.

12. “Next time I go to church” it will probably be for a funeral. Sadly. I used to be very active in the church but had a severe crisis of faith (not so much a crisis of faith as a crisis of religion)as I was very ill, looking for some help, getting none and also getting lots of criticism for my troubles. That was it for me.

13. What worries me most is the future of Derek and Bethany. I hope that they will be happy and healthy, that they will meet someone truly special to share their lives, that they will be able to rise above all of the school loan debt, that the world will stay a safe place to be for them. And that I will have grandchildren someday. Not too soon, but not too far off either.

14. When I turn my head left I see a snoozing husband in his chair, still clutching the remote control. If I happen to extract said remote from his hand mid snore, he will proclaim that he "Was watching something". This is when knitting and the computer come in handy.

15. When I turn my head right I see Darkness out the window. There are some crickets outside having quite the loud party tonight. Of course, I cannot see them but they are outside that window that I see when I turn my head to the right.

16. You know I’m lying when I say "Isn't that mosquito so cute?"

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is the big hair. I loved my big hair. I loved spraying my bangs up. UP high. The sides of the hair? Out straight to the side.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be Hermia

19. By this time next year I will be 48 years old and have been married for 25 years. I remember when I was younger, I used to say to myself "When I'm 48, married 25 years and Derek will be 23 and Bethany will be 21". I would try to imagine what my life would be like. What my kids would be like in the future, what they would look like, what they would do with their lives.

20. A better name for me would be: Well, my favorite names when I was a kid were names like Ingrid or Gretchen or Gwendolyn. But I don't think it would feel right being a "Gwendolyn's knitting". Too long.

21. I have a hard time understanding how I always pick the grocery cart with the broken wheel. Or how I get into the shortest line at the grocery store and it is inevitably the slowest. OR! How someone cuts me off (driving) and then gives ME a dirty look and possible a hand gesture!!!!
(I could go on and on with that one)

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll soak it all in unlike when I was there as a young person. I would love to go back to school to be and English Teacher.

23. You know I like you if I smother you in kisses. Okay, I lied. I don't really smother anyone in kisses unless they are small. Not just a small woman or a small man, I mean a small child. I smother them. Repeatedly. But I shy away from doing that with an adult. But if the next time I see you? And you want a smother? Just ask. I'll oblige.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be George Clooney. It would make people wonder, hmm. She knows George Clooney? No wonder she got this award! She has it going on.

25. Take my advice, never give advice.

26. My ideal breakfast is an omelet or an egg sandwich. Or an english muffin. Cheerios! I love cheerios!

27. A song I love but do not have is Well, geez, Louise, the internets are right here! Help yourself! (I do not condone music stealing). I'm not a huge music buyer. Or listener for that matter. I do love some music. But. It's not part of my daily life. I do have a lot of songs in my brain all the time. I usually wake up with one in my head and it's kind of the theme music for the day. Yes, it's odd. But I kind of like it. I don't have to pay anything for that music either. I won't sing it aloud for you, don't worry. You can thank me later.

(Cripes, how long is this meme, anyway?)

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you buy a chair. It is the Chair City. And you MUST eat at my Brother's restaurant. It is called Cruisers and you will eat the best food you've ever had. Order the haddock with an ice cream frappe or sundae for dessert.

29. Why won’t people see everything my way? :D

30. If you spend a night at my house like at Nora's, you will have to sleep on the couch and have Fig sitting above you in the window all night. It's not a mansion, but it's home!

31. I’d stop my wedding for an announcement that nothing will stop my wedding.

32. The world could do without nuclear weapons, pants that hang off of young men's bottoms, gangs, mosquitoes, humidity and burglars.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than Oops, I found another answer for number 32. Cockroaches. I wouldn't lick the belly of one for anything. Don't try to offer me things. I won't accept.

34. My favorite blondie is a brownie.

35. Paper clips are more useful than having papers flying willy nilly around the office.

36. If I do anything well it’s offending people when I proclaim my love for some and not including all. That will be a long list (I love you, Cookie!!! :D)

37. I can’t help but I'm taking the BUT out of that sentence and singing this answer. I can't help falling in love with you. No, not YOU. I may love you but I'm not IN love with you. Cripes.

38. I usually cry at commercials, movies, comedies, cartoons, mushy stuff and graduations.

39. My advice to my nephew/niece is always, always, always call your Auntie Sandy when you need anything. Always.

40. And by the way do you want this meme? Did you like it? Am I drop dead boring or what??

Thanks, Nora!